General Motors vs. Microsoft
At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly
compared the computer industry with the auto
industry and stated: “If GM had kept up with the
technology like the computer industry has, we would
all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to
the gallon.”
In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors
should have issued a press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would
all be driving cars with the following
characteristics: (Part I)
- For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash
twice a day.
- Every time they repainted the lines in the road,
you would have to buy a new car.
- Occasionally your car would die on the freeway
for no reason. You would have to pull over to the
side of the road, close all of the car windows, shut
it off, restart it, and reopen the windows before
you could continue. For some reason you would simply
accept this.
- Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left
turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to
restart, in which case you would have to reinstall
the engine.
- Only one person at a time could use the car
unless you bought “CarNT”, but then you would have
to buy more seats.
- Macintosh would make a car that was powered by
the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice
as easy to drive—but would only run on five percent
of the roads.
- The oil, water temperature, and alternator
warning lights would all be replaced by a single
“General Protection Fault” warning light.
- New seats would force everyone to have the same
sized butt.
- The airbag system would ask “are you SURE?”
before deploying.
- Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your
car would lock you out and refuse to let you in
until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio
antenna.
- GM would require all car buyers to also purchase
a deluxe set of Rand McNally Road maps (now a GM
subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want
them. Attempting to delete this option would
immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish
by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target
for investigation by the Justice Dept.
- Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers
would have to learn to drive all over again because
none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car.
- You’d have to press the “Start” button to turn
the engine off.
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